Zombie Glazier

Technically I’m supposed to be in Sweden, the new suburb in Melbourne, but honestly it was kind of cramping my style. I’ve worked up a reputation as the baddest villain in the multiverse, so it’s kind of weird to just sit around building an office for the Australian streaming show, Next Top Office. That’s why I’ve decided to skip this first challenge by conjuring a zombie glazier to do it for me. How hard could it be to create and install a stair balustrade made entirely out of glass?

So I’m sitting at my favourite Italian Sun Dollars cafe and drinking a chai latte while typing up this blog post that we’re required to do before the first challenge ends. Maybe later I’ll go check up on my phylactery on top of Big Ben. Now that I think about it, I should probably recruit a few more Elders of the Internet to watch over it. Somehow they got the idea that they had to do things at complete random, instead of doing their actual jobs which is to stop me from ever dying.

After my chores are done, I suppose I should head back and check on my zombie. If I need to search for glass repair services Melbourne wide, all because he couldn’t construct a simple balustrade without breaking the glass, then so be it. I’ll get a real glazier in with a wave of my staff and a conjure tradie spell. Simple. Provided I don’t forget about daylight savings again. That would kind of suck. I just need to remember that Melbourne is currently using AEDT, not AEST. I’ve made that mistake before and almost missed my audition for the show.

I hope I remembered to give my zombie glazier that handbook of the trades and the crown of intelligence. Without those he’ll just be flailing about on camera, smashing glass everywhere. Might even start an outbreak among the filming crew. Oh, I’m sure it will be fine. I’m the smartest being in the universe. I wouldn’t forget something like that.