Ballarat is usually an okay place to live… that is until you need some services. It’s one of the bigger towns north of Melbourne but alas, we hardly have any services here. I mean, there are a few yoga studios at inflated prices and the odd Asian grocery, but nothing like they have in Melbourne. And the nightlife? Hah, don’t make me laugh. Clubs, bars and restaurants are so subpar, you’d be better off having a rave in your living room.
I know I give my hometown a lot of crap, but at least there’s one thing it is good for and that’s beauty clinics. The bumpkins out here might not be that imaginative, they may not be that good-looking, but at least they know what’s good for them appearance-wise. I thank my lucky stars that there’s a clinic or two down here that offers laser hair removal. Ballarat sure would be a hairy place without it – and that’s not just my leg hair causing all the overgrowth but all of the other hairy people you see around town. I guess they haven’t caught onto the whole innovation in epilation thing, because after a few laser treatments they’d be hair free for life.
Turns out a couple of the clinics also offer cosmetic tattooing, which is a god send. I really do think some of the hicks in this town ought to get some definition going around the brows. If only more of them were aware of eyebrow tattooing, Ballarat would be a much more attractive town. It’s a wonder why we get touros from Melbourne down here at all. I’m actually surprised that we haven’t scared them. If you ask me, this whole town is in need of a makeover, Ricky Lane style. Those before and after shots really are amazing, aren’t they? God bless the beauty industry.
Back when I was at uni I really got into the whole female empowerment thing. I read Simone de Beauvoir and Germaine Greer, went to marches and hung out with a lot of women. Being a strong woman has its perks. You get to tell chauvinistic people off and stuff like that. But at the end of the day I found it easier to be relax a little. Instead of struggling against the all-consuming patriarchy I decided to embrace my power and go with the flow. So that’s when I made my conversion. Now, my aim in life is to please myself and gain my own confidence through self improvement.
The first step of my transformation to femme fatale was to shave off all that body hair that some people hate so much. Shaving gave me a lot of painful ingrowns though so I decided to take a more extreme and permanent measure: laser hair removal. Melbourne literally has tonnes of clinic that can perform this treatment and a few months later you’re practically hair-free. After laser hair removal, I was well on my way to becoming my best self.
I loved the benefits of laser hair removal so much that I started looking into more cosmetic style treatments can could enhance not just my body but also my entire visage. That’s when I stumbled upon lip fillers. Melbourne just happens to be full of clinics that do this kind of thing so it was no trouble finding a really good clinician. You know, I always thought there was a lot wrong with my lips, when I discovered that dermal fillers actually exist I though, hey, if it’s going to make me feel better about myself then why not? So I got the lip fillers too at that Melbourne clinic and my lips look amazing! I’m just starting to wonder though, how come so many women get these services done to improve their appearance and men don’t?