Ballarat is usually an okay place to live… that is until you need some services. It’s one of the bigger towns north of Melbourne but alas, we hardly have any services here. I mean, there are a few yoga studios at inflated prices and the odd Asian grocery, but nothing like they have in Melbourne. And the nightlife? Hah, don’t make me laugh. Clubs, bars and restaurants are so subpar, you’d be better off having a rave in your living room.
I know I give my hometown a lot of crap, but at least there’s one thing it is good for and that’s beauty clinics. The bumpkins out here might not be that imaginative, they may not be that good-looking, but at least they know what’s good for them appearance-wise. I thank my lucky stars that there’s a clinic or two down here that offers laser hair removal. Ballarat sure would be a hairy place without it – and that’s not just my leg hair causing all the overgrowth but all of the other hairy people you see around town. I guess they haven’t caught onto the whole innovation in epilation thing, because after a few laser treatments they’d be hair free for life.
Turns out a couple of the clinics also offer cosmetic tattooing, which is a god send. I really do think some of the hicks in this town ought to get some definition going around the brows. If only more of them were aware of eyebrow tattooing, Ballarat would be a much more attractive town. It’s a wonder why we get touros from Melbourne down here at all. I’m actually surprised that we haven’t scared them. If you ask me, this whole town is in need of a makeover, Ricky Lane style. Those before and after shots really are amazing, aren’t they? God bless the beauty industry.