Botching Pest Control, Of Course

termite control FrankstonIt’s not just me: Over-Botch is getting boring. It’s one of the most-played games in the world, all the top streamers are streaming it, but…everyone is getting bored. Who would’ve thought that such a fresh concept would get old so quickly? At first, people loved how it was such a dynamic concept: a game where you TRY to lose, in the most creative way possible. Now it seems like all the big-wigs are moving on, or just doing stupid stuff for the ratings. Sad to see it happen, but maybe they can revive it somehow.

Doesn’t help that life simulators are suddenly super popular. It’s like jumping into any job, and you can even set the location and everything…surprisingly immersive, considering they’re everyday jobs. Like, right now I’m well into pest control. Sorrento is somewhere that’s always sounded nice, so I thought I’d go on a digital holiday. Amazing, what games can do for you nowadays. So now I’m building up my experience as a pest inspection agent; I’ve just reached level 35, which means I can take on cockroach infestations by myself. Or rather, I SHOULD be able to. The last time I tried I had to call in the boss because that’s probably the most difficult job in the game, and in life. Also, I think I got a complaint for what I did to the wall in that ant removal mission. They really do think of everything.

This company has been producing games for a while now, and nobody knows much about them. It’s some secret project, but they make good stuff so people don’t mind them being all covert about it. There’s a game conference coming up in Melbourne…supposedly they’re making a massive announcement. We’ll see. Until then I’ll just consult the Frankston comapny that does pest control.

Oh yeah, I got demoted and sent to Frankston. I never said I was GOOD at it…

-Lawrence

Bugs Just Want New Experiences

Berwick pest controlSo I just saw a movie about giant bugs from outer space that came to our planet to drink all of our salt water, and the brave humans who repelled them with massive cans of bug spray. You know when something straddles the line between serious and spoof? It gets really confusing around Halloween when all these cheesy, intentionally B-Movie movies come out and you’re left wondering what the heck you just watched.

Like, so many questions. Why do the bugs want to drink our salt water? Is it such a bad thing that we let them have a little bit of it? The planet is mostly covered in the stuff, I don’t think there’s a shortage. And why big cans of bug spray, when missiles would probably get the job done? ‘All in all, I think it gave me a new appreciation for people who do pest control. Berwick companies are kept busy this time of year, what with all the damp wood and falling leaves. Bugs get in the house, in the shed, in the…wherever. Though those are normal sized ones, so I really don’t know what all the fuss is about. Like, I saw what those giant bugs did in that scene where all the people were sat around the big conference table and the world leaders were trying to reason with the bug queen. She seemed really interested in the offer of a 2-for-1 deal on saltwater mixed with some delicious Earth-made Wensleydale. I guess they’d travelled a really long way from the reaches of deep space, and they wanted to sample a bit of the cuisine. You know, like you do if you go to Bali, or Beijing. But then things broke down when one of the delegates squashed a spider running across the desk. Bummer.

So yeah, I guess it’s a lesson to all pest control experts in Dromana and wherever. If you don’t get the results you want, remember the distance from the tree at the back of the garden to someone’s house is a great journey, and maybe they just want a bit of the local cuisine. Which is sometimes the food in the cupboards, and sometimes, like…the actual house itself.

-Ben