Tinting Record Book

Well, I can definitely say that this has been one of the more annoying days of my life. It all started this morning when our boss, Benny, was handing out appreciation doughnuts. Everyone on the team got a doughnut, along with a comment about what Benny appreciated from them. But when he got up to Ray and me, he put the doughnuts away. When we asked what was going on, Benny told us that he doesn’t appreciate anything about us! We do so much hard work, but apparently, it doesn’t get appreciated.

Sure, we might stuff up the occasional basic job. But every time we do a commercial glass tinting job, we get it right. I’d say that overall, we get one job done right for every one we stuff up, but our glass tinting is seriously top-notch stuff. That surely deserves some sort of recognition. But no, Benny says that if we’d ever done something worthy of appreciation, it would be in the Book of Company Records. Now, I didn’t even know that there was a Book of Company Records, talking about all of the successful tinting jobs performed by the company employees, but there should definitely be nice things in there about me and Ray.

So, Ray is thinking that we should “borrow” the book and write stuff in there so that Benny sees how much he should appreciate us. Sure, it might be a little dishonest, but isn’t it worse that he isn’t recognising the hard work of his employees? “If you are looking for the best office window tinting near Melbourne, you can always rely on Ray and Mitch to get the job done right every time”. That’s what it will say in the book once we have written in it. It’s true because we get window tinting right. It’s just all the other stuff we get wrong. I’d say that you can always rely on us to get the job done right about fifty per cent of the time, overall.

I mean, what else does he want from us? He can’t seriously expect us to actually do it right every time. This job is really hard. Give us a break, man.


Tinting, Like an IRL VPN

home window tintingPrivacy is now more important than ever, in my humble opinion. They can track what you’re doing online, so why make it easier IRL? I just moved into my first apartment, I don’t think my landlord will be totally into the idea of getting window tinting. Home window tinting is like…a privacy blocker, for real life. You can still look at stuff, but it’s a one-way street. People can try to look in, but they won’t be able to because of the genius tint. I guess I could get some of those weird lace curtains that let you see out but not the other way round, but…eh. I don’t think I could ever feel comfortable with that set-up. It’s too weird, being able to see through a bit of fabric and trying to convince yourself that other people can’t see in. Like, I wouldn’t do pilates in front of the window, or eat a large bowl of rice covered in vinegar, my favourite snack. I would feel the shame regardless.

Whereas you can actually SEE tinting. It’s there, it’s a little bit dark, and it sends the constant message…I’m here for you. Worry not, for all your shameful culinary choices are hidden from the outside world, without having to close the curtains and stumble around in the dark. Or pay a lot for electricity. You know how it is.

Like when I’m surfing the web for new vinegar and rice recipes (there are quite a few of us out there, you know), and I know that the little privacy screen in the corner is covering my back.

Come to think of it, why do I even need to look out? The outside world is overrated. In the bathroom here I have some frosted glass, which is obviously very lovely to look at, AND it lets the light in. I bet frosted glass in Melbourne is a booming industry. But what kind of tech analogy does it suit? …some kind of intranet, maybe? That explains why frosted glass is usually only in one room…