Inspector of Name Badges

nurseEveryone keeps telling me not to skip leg day. I can do what I want! I live on the third floor, so I’m usually walking up two flights of stairs at least one a day. That’s  basically leg day…every day. I have a really stressful job as well, so when I think about going to the gym after work, all I really want to do is work on what makes me less stressed. So, the rowing machine (because I can imagine lush scenery whizzing past) and the treadmill (because I can imagine I’m being chased by a land-shark).

It’s a tough job, being a name badge inspector. Loads of pressure, even though it doesn’t sound like there is, and if you get anything wrong you’re sending an employee back into the world with false credentials. One little mistake and you’re out; that’s the standard of our company, and the stress that comes with it. Today was hospital day, so I was looking at nurses name badges for practically the entire day. Doctors tend to take very good care of their own badges, always keeping them clearly visible and shining them to an acceptable degree. Maybe they just really want people to know who they are? That must be it, but nurses aren’t quite so reliable. I can’t count the times I’ve had to politely ask someone to straighten their badge, or handed them a wipe to clear off some fingerprint smudges, or asked them where their badge is only to be told some vague excuse about it being lost in the wash. I know, the washing machine claims many name tags…it is a fell beast and the bane of my job. In fact, I almost lost my own name badge in there once, and I had to rip open the door and flood the laundry to retrieve it before the ink faded. I still have nightmares about that moment.

Anyway, tomorrow is school day. Those school captain badges better be shiny and new, otherwise…ah, I’ll probably just give them a mini tutorial on how to properly take care of their name tag. I do that a lot.