Tools for the Train Tracks

trainI like trains. And what I really DON’T like? How they’ve all been replaced with modern electric ones, because in my opinion it defeats the entire purpose of a train. They might as well be big metal buses that move on a track, because to call those things trains is a mockery of the system. They’re supposed to be mighty locomotives, with men shoveling coal and steam billowing from the funnel as it lets out a mighty toot. Instead…we get the rail equivalent of smart phones.

I used to dream of being a train serviceman, with my aluminium toolbox in the olden style, pulling out gigantic spanners and fixing what went wrong with the tracks or train cars. I’ve seen them in documentaries, specifically the documentary Men on the Tracks: A History of Train Engineers. The way they used to carry around their toolboxes was fascinating: because the tools inside were so large, they had to sling the boxes across their backs and sometimes even carry them around in a kind of wagon-toolbox. It was engrossing, watching them travel on foot to where a particular piece of track might have been damaged and seeing how they fixed the problem.

Honestly, I’m still unsure about the general concept of modern toolboxes. Did you know that you can get toolbox central locking now I saw it in a massively popular and riveting documentary entitled Tool Box Central Locking: Is the Future Moving Too Quickly? I mean, what are we expecting next? A teleporter? While these inventions were made for good, I just can’t shake the feeling that we’re one step away from inventing a grey goo that consumes all life on the planet, or a massive ray gun that backfires and obliterates an entire city. I’d rather stick with my old timey aluminium accessories and a massive wrench, even though it doesn’t work on any existing train lines. Because it’s electric.