Man, jargon is tiring. Searching around empty offices, even more so. Paperwork is perhaps the jewel in the crown of things that are really, incredibly tiring. I’m not giving up though, because I have people who are counting on me to give them a job. I’ll look at as many empty offices as it takes, and I’m really not keen on the idea of renting.

I have conveyancers around Melbourne to look after the whole jargon/paperwork side of things anyway. I figured that once my business got started and we started expending, possibly to other locations, it’d be incredibly useful to have something like a conveyancer or property expert or transfer person on the case. Like, they’d be my guide and I their…client. Managing multiple premises sounds like hard work, so I’d rather do as little of the legwork as possible. Enter the property transfer people, who can at least set my mind at ease while I make millions of dollars selling my product. When you’re as rich and wealthy as I’m about to be, you won’t mind paying people to do certain things for you.

Speaking of legwork, looking at empty offices is just a little bit soul crushing. Sure, you have to be able to visualise what the place is going to look like, but right now they’re all just bare, empty, cold reminders of how far you have to go. Those aren’t the kind of thoughts that’ll lead me to business success, but then I think of all the great businessmen and I wonder if they’ve been through this. Standing in the middle of a cold (or humid), empty office, wondering if they should set up shop.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter, because I’m pushing through those thoughts. I have my conveyancing solicitors. Melbourne will one day know my name, because it will be on multiple billboards and sides of offices, everywhere.

-Theo

All through my life, people have given me flack for my name. That’s why I mostly go by my surname, ‘Foss’. It’s short, easy to understand, pronounce…and I’m happy for people to call me that. If only my parents hadn’t forced me into it by calling me ‘Rudolph’. I’m a man of business, and it’s not fitting for one of my calibre. No one wants to associate with a man named Rudolph. No one will take a conveyancing solicitor seriously with a name like Rudolph. It’s especially unfortunate around the Christmas period, for reasons which should be abundantly clear. Everyone in my office wants me to wear the nose. They KNOW I hate the nose. Everyone knows. Don’t even get me started on the antlers.

And look, I see their point. I might be a conveyancing specialist with a long list of cases under my belt and a full list of satisfied clients, but I’ve never been great at learning to laugh at myself. There’s still time- I’m not over the hill yet- but sometimes I wonder if an official name change would be more appropriate. It’s just one of those things that you ponder, but getting around to it is infinitely harder. After all, I’ve lived with this name my whole life. The nicer classmates called me Dolph, which I grew to appreciate because I’ve always been fond of dolphins. The worst thing is, my parents can’t remember why they did it. I’ve asked so many times, and Mum and Dad always just look confused before admitting that they must’ve just thought it sounded good. Maybe the song wasn’t out then.

If it hadn’t been for the other successful conveyancer in my position, I might’ve quit my job and gone into children’s entertainment. Just think…a respectable Melbourne property conveyancing person named ‘Dorabella Moo’. It’s one of those few times when I’ve really appreciated my cursed title.

-Foss

Alright, I give up. I’m completely lost, and if I’m honest, I’ve been completely lost for days. The last few days have been an epic journey where I have discovered the immensity of my own shortcomings. I’ve been wading through mountains of paperwork for days and it’s time for me to finally admit that I have no freaking idea what I’m doing.

So far, I’ve managed to be able to get through this whole house selling process on my own. I realise now that that probably wasn’t the wisest idea, but it definitely was a heck of alot cheaper than going through an agency and getting squeezed for every penny. But even though I was, and still am, staunchly against employing a real estate agent when I managed to find a buyer on my own, I think I need someone to handle all the paperwork.

There really isn’t any shame in using someone’s conveying services in Melbourne. There are just so many laws, rules, and regulations. Unless you’ve been trained specifically in the field, it’s basically impossible to make heads or tails of it. Of course, all the various government agencies and council branches make it as difficult for you as they possibly can, so that you have to pay your conveyancer in Brighton or wherever you are instead of just being able to do it yourself. It’s just one of the ways the government has of trying to create more jobs for more people, even if they’re not really necessary. It’s all about wringing all the money they possibly can out of you before you’ve even bought your next place. Say what you will about an advanced economy being one in which everyone is a specialist, I’m much more of an advocate for the Jack-of-all-trades lifestyle. If only that were a possibility.